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| As much as I'd love to stare at that picture of my very confused girlfriend it's time for a change. Here's a special gift from me to you.
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| Hi, this is Christy here. Ryan's girlfriend. You know. That girl. Person.
I'm confused.
Very.
Everyone who thinks Ryan needs to take a break from marching his billion dollar army into my panties and update his Xanga, raise your hand. | | |
| This weekend I went on a long amazing adventure that, if I told you the
truth, would sound and was really boring. But today only I'll offer you
my side of the story!
It all started with me and my super hot girlfriend [this part is true.]
We were hanging out after school like the chums we are when a man
walked up and pointed a gun at my head..
"We meet again Mr. Dagley and this time I'll make sure it's the last..."
Miles, he was the man that killed my brother, which I thanked him for,
but he also killed my sister which wasn't so cool. He told me the
person who sent him didn't matter, what mattered is he wanted me dead.
Unfortunately for him, Christy likes her Ryan alive,
So she blew up his head with her anger.
And then I congratulated her and we danced till dawn, and that's when I realized she was MISSING.
I looked everywhere, untill I decided that I should go look in Purdue
University, so I trekked miles through the indiana tundra untill I
finally reached it after crossing the river that ran with blood, the
Wabash.
It was obviously a backwards town where their street lamps also doubled
as buildings AND speed limit signs. Also as you can see if you look
hard enough at the sign, standing is illegal here.
I then decided I shouldn't be standing around on the streets so I went
inside and met up with some informants who tried to tell me where to
find my lost love. I walked down the streets, carrying with me my
scimitar and cutlass. I stopped at the doors, the building, built in
the fourties, stood in front of me, waiting to collapse. Unfortunately
for it, I wasn't there to be crushed. So I stabbed it in whatever face
it had and walked inside the oaken doors.
"So.. wait, where is this
place you're talking about?" I asked in a secluded secret meeting place
that we designated before the encounter. The dank walls of the WorldWar
Two era walk up smelled of copper, and rats swept across the floor as
we sipped from out metal cups.
"Arghlearghl!!!GACK" He mentioned, before quickly melting in a beam of light.
I thought nothing of it, as he looked kinda like a vampire anyway. His
ashes blew away and I watched and old man walk up from a large closet
situated at the corner of the room. He swept the ashes into a large
brass pan and returned to the darkened closet, slamming the doors
behind him.
I then asked the second informant where she saw my beloved...
She had contacted me a day earlier via note tied to brick, which wasn't
completely needed as I was walking through the city when she delivered
it, and it broke through the window I was carrying too, so I was
slightly angry.
Unfortunately she also died before she could say anything. and It
started to puzzle me, why was everyone melting?! Then I realized, I
should probably look at where the light was coming from..
As you can see, I was turning, yeah... And there he was, black as the day...
"Mr. Dagley, was Miles not enough for you?" Ben said with a look of
evil and moustachedness on his face, he was clearly intent on killing
me, yet he did not as you might know already. He then told me to meet
at his evil tower of evilosity and dissappeared in a flash of light
that could frighten orphan children. I wandered back onto the strees
and looked to the west, and there it was...
The tower stood like a giant phallus on the world of men, prodding at
the most evil destructive forces known to man: laughter at the thought
of giant phalluses...
I decided to wait till night, when I hatched a scheme to enter the dark evil fortress of evil.
[Bet you can't guess what that's a picture of]
I looked up and down the wall and then, puting my plan into action, I opened the door.
My first mistake was probably walking up to ben and telling him to give
Christy back, cause he proceeded to knock me out and lock me in a low
lit cell. I'm not sure what was going on, but all I know is that I woke
up the next morning freed and in Christy's arms... I'm pretty sure she
blew him up with anger, which is why Christy can't remember any of
this, cause that's what anger does to ya.
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TheKoopaTrooper: So whatchoo up to?
beserko yakuza: Listening to music, just finished putting gook in my hair
TheKoopaTrooper: gook?!
beserko yakuza: It's like, this comb in treatment that keeps you from frizzing
TheKoopaTrooper: awesome?
TheKoopaTrooper: hahaha you've been gooking yourself without telling me?!
beserko yakuza: What? Do I need your permission?!
beserko yakuza: *throws dishes for no reason*
beserko yakuza: *turns to staircase*
beserko yakuza: KIDS! GO BACK TO BED!
beserko yakuza: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
TheKoopaTrooper: hahahahahahaa
TheKoopaTrooper: hahahahahahaahahahhaa
TheKoopaTrooper: Shhhhh no
TheKoopaTrooper: honey honey
TheKoopaTrooper: You need to stop throwing the fucking dishes! you know how much those cost?!
beserko yakuza: I don't care! I thought they were hideous anyway!
TheKoopaTrooper: They were my mothers!
beserko yakuza: *rips tablecloth from table, attempting to destroy more
china, but tablecloth easily slides out, leaving dishes unmoved*
beserko yakuza: Awkward silence.
TheKoopaTrooper: priceless! imported straight fomr the 70's!
TheKoopaTrooper: ...
TheKoopaTrooper: ...
TheKoopaTrooper: I...
beserko yakuza: *swipes arm over table, smashing all the dishes*
TheKoopaTrooper: wow...
TheKoopaTrooper: HEY
TheKoopaTrooper: OH YEAH?!
beserko yakuza: YEAH!!
TheKoopaTrooper: *shoves arm through blank canvas laying on easel*
TheKoopaTrooper: YEAH?!
beserko yakuza: YEAHH!!
beserko yakuza: *knocks over chair*
TheKoopaTrooper: *knocks over house*
beserko yakuza: *puts it back* Don't do that.
beserko yakuza: *throws a pan*
beserko yakuza: YEAH!!
TheKoopaTrooper: HEY! I can do what I want!
TheKoopaTrooper: but you're right...
beserko yakuza: NUH UH
TheKoopaTrooper: BUT HEY!
TheKoopaTrooper: That pan belonged to... me!
beserko yakuza: SO?!
TheKoopaTrooper: STOP THAT
beserko yakuza: NO
TheKoopaTrooper: or else I'll muss up your paintbrushes!
beserko yakuza: GO AHEAD
beserko yakuza: DESTROY THEM!
beserko yakuza: SEE IF I CARE
TheKoopaTrooper: ok!
TheKoopaTrooper: *destroys them*
beserko yakuza: YOU
beserko yakuza: YOU MONSTER
From there it gets.. to terrible for your innocent eyes. Go back upstairs to bed.
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I'M SO LUCKY
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